Tea & Rabies

I've been told you have to sift through all the shit if you want to find something. Wade through the ugliness. You might find something beautiful. Beautiful like shit.. ankle deep shit.. Tumbling down a mountain with a face full of acid.

Cigarettes are like clocks. Don't smoke it, just let it sit in your non-flammable, cigarette friendly area and it'll start counting down to the next ten to fifteen minutes. Then shake your eyeballs back and forth and roll them around all rapid like; Looks like an earthquake duhn'it? No, ofcourse it doesn't. Have you ever been in an earthquake? What the fuck do you know?

 Here's some advice if you're too skinny. Buy a filthy trenchcoat for fourty dollars off some witch-nosed, acne covered ginger-freak who likes to shove coke cans up her ass. Fill the coat's pockets with candy bars that you were supposed to sell for some ridiculous Catholic fundraiser at your church or something. Eat the candy bars.. now get fat.

Here's some advice if you're too fat.

Stop eating.

If that doesn't work.. then kill yourself. It's all hopeless. But before you kill yourself, make sure you give me all your valubales. You've given me all your stuff now? Yeah? Good. Now try'n fly off that bridge kiddo. Susej loves you.

We're all Jim? You and I. I'm you, you're me, and we're we. Huh? What? This is my head space. Not, not, not a bookface or a myroom page, but a disgusting, visceral place where I can bake cookies on the toilet seat. So it's basically just like one of those silly social networking sites minus vain pictures of me and my genitals in the bathroom mirror. I've never met you. I probably never will. This is a good thing. People are icky. Harley died and he almost took two cops with him. That has absolutely nothing to do with this. This has absolutely nothing to do with anything. This has nothing to do with evil little slutfaced redheads who haunt me, floating around behind my head, who make me aroused while I'm baking cookies... them demon gingers. Maybe this is related to my bleeding fingernails problem? It might have something to do with a lack of proper hygeine. More than likely it's just belligerence, sweet belligerence. We're all dreaming your dream. Wake up.

One out of three people you know might be a christian. But I guess, if you're one of those three people then that means maybe as many as HALF the people you know are christians. I'm not sure on these numbers. I'm not good at math. I'm a dropout. Can't you tell? Mr. Biros was a dick. He threw my books off the table. Because of that.. I'm not good at any other subjects, including math, because my math teacher threw all my shit against the wall. I did nothing. I agreed. Reading is stupid. Stop reading. It'll make you dumb. Ahem.. sorry.. Where was I? Christians.. They're idiots. They even know it themselves but they don't acknowledge it. They're afraid of cyclops' and lightning bolts crashing from the sky if they don't donate ten percent of their income to the local church fund for new carpets and grandiose high ceilings. God is watching them like some kind've creep. I want you to think about this real hard, stranger. There are thousands upon thousands of wack-jobs out there, locked up in the nut houses of your neighborhood, bouncing around in padded rooms, because they think they're Susej TsirhC. They're making swirly patterns on the walls with their own shit. It's a protest of some kind. I'm not sure, I haven't asked. It's all a superstition. . . all that Lord buisness. . . I assure you. I fucking promise. So go ahead.. use your new found freedom to go be evil. . because there's no such thing as evil. It's an illusion. It's semantics. Really.. there's no such thing as anything. It's all in your head. You're just batshit insane. Snap out of it you pyscho. Stop sticking nails in your hands. Stop slapping yourself in the back with glass tipped leather strips. There are better ways to get attention. You've suffered enough. Go out there and sow your wild oats. Spread that seed son. Reap what you sow.. bust a nut in somebody's soup. Praise the Lizord. Amenz.